TEXT FROM DIANE MARSAGELIA’S SPEECH GIVEN AT THE LOWER BUCKS FAMILY YMCA STRONG KIDS BREAKFAST

 FEBRUARY 15, 2008

Thank you so much for having me here today. This I is truly a treat to spend time with people who love children enough to be here at 7:30 in the morning! I have to say it is also a joy to be able to speak to you, because although I do like politics and being a county commissioner and find land development and emergency management issues all very interesting…there are times I think I would like to be the “first lady” so I can go out and JUST talk about and champion issues I care about… and THIS opportunity is exactly what I care about and would want to talk about.

So, I thank you for having me.

When I was asked to speak, I knew that my focus would be on stress and our children. This is an issue that has become of mammoth importance to me…particularly after losing my daughter Becky…her funeral was 3 years ago TODAY. Becky took her own life after the routine stressors of adolescence today built and, formed the perfect storm when an emotionally devastating event catapulted her into a state of agonizing tumult. 

After losing Becky I felt an absolute responsibility to research the possible effects of stress on children. I needed to find out if she was simply an anomaly or part of a bigger social issue. What I found was awakening and significant.

I began by researching current biological and psychological studies of children. I learned that the brain continues to grow and develop until the age of 23. 23!!!!!!! 

That means the juniors and seniors I teach in college are not even adults, yet!

That means that the freshman and sophomore college students I teach are still children!

 That means that the students in our middle and high schools are kids. I recalled a local school administrator, at a meeting 2 years ago, referred to our junior class and young adults. But they ARE not. They are still children in their brain and thus in every sense of the word.

As we look over our nation’s history, we see that our children are still attending school for virtually the same amount of hours and same amount of days as they were 150 years ago! And, yet, think about the amount of material that must be negotiated and absorbed by their brain in 2006 as compared to 1856 (changes in biology, history, development of computers!).

 All of that material and yet there is no evidence to suggest there has been any growth in children’s brain size or composition…

In fact, modern medicine has show us , through MRI’s that the frontal lobes of brains which don’t complete development until age 23 are the very ones that that control long-range planning, executive functions like organization, and strategizing. Moreover a process called mylienation is also occurring up until the mid-20’s where unnecessary white matter is pruned away so that brain functioning and thought process is more efficient.

Think about hw that lack of development handicaps our older children as they struggle to deal with the expectations and adult pressure we put on them today!

And, yet, here we sit as parents, teachers, business owner…allowing our children to be overwhelmed with the expectations, and knowledge, and demands that we know they cannot cope with.

So how and why did this happen?

I am sure we all know of Dr. Spock…he was the doctor of the late 50’s and 60’s that showed millions of parents the scheme of child physical and emotional development. He educated parents, like mine, as to a spectrum of normalcy.

But, as the 70;s became the 80’s and 90’s…normalcy became less acceptable. Instead, one’s child had to exceed normal …defy expectations…being the best and brightest became THE goal. We watched as babies were shown flash cards and pre-schoolers learned to read, and school age children became immersed in a sport or hobby as if their entire future depended on their success.

This mentality was further pushed by a country that was struggling to adapt to the loss of its industrial economy and the introduction of a global economy. As other countries progresses economically and America was perceived to be failing…in comparison to its past…politicians and others needed to blame “someone”. So they blamed our schools, our teachers and our children. They began comparing the test scores of children from other nation’s with America and  decreed that America’s children weren’t learning and were not as smart as other countries.

(What, of course, they still refuse to share is the fact that other countries have double and triple our drop out rate. And, that other countries don’t allow children who are faring average or poorly to even participate in academic tests after the 8^th grade. No wonder we appeared as failures)

But these comparisons resulted in even more stress and pressure on children: The creation of day care and preschools that teach; addition of full day kindergarten; movement of 6^th graders from the safety and fun of recess into middle schools; mandating that high schoolers do volunteer work, and complete a high school thesis, and cope with a myriad of modern-day-school rules. We have heightened the pressure and fear among teens by insisting on ranking them by GPA’s, introducing Advanced Placement classes (basically a college class for children), and increasingly new, more difficult college entrance exams so they almost require private tutoring for success.

 And recently we have added state assessment tests, the PSSA, to which our state and some school districts are now considering making a graduation requirement.  My friends, I submit such threats of not-graduating are not going to motivate student who lack the emotional or intellectual ability to pass. Instead, these requirements just add another burden , another hurdle for children who WILL pass to add to their already overwhelmed minds.

All of this  is the stress that has been brought to our children…our children’s whose brains are not evolved enough to handle.

So what do we do? First we must remember the words of Journalist Bob Talbert, :Teaching kids to count is fine; teaching kids what counts is best.”

We need  to elect leaders (be is school board or President) who don’t blame children and advocate for them to fulfill adult standards. We need to educate groups like our  newspaper  the testing and who recently chastised 2 school districts seeking to remove graduation testing requirements and limit all day kindergarten (the press can help us spread the word if we educate them) .We need ot go home and talk to our children and grandchildren and neighbor’s children and really ask if they feel pressure. According to, a Media Mark survey in 2004 half of teens fees stressed all the time and ¾ feel stressed some of the time. Alexandra Robbins reports that he 114% increase in suicide between 1980 and 2002 among 15-19 year olds (higher in girls) is attributed to stress.

We need to start peeling off the layers and let children be children, again.

But one of the most important things we can do…is what YOU are doing today. Supporting programs that still recognize that children need to be kids. The African saying that it takes a Village to Raise a Child remains true - but I worry that this Y remains one of the few safe havens in our Bucks Village where kids cope with a life that can feel like a battle zone - a pressure cooker.

Every bit of support and every dollar you give to this Y helps a child to survive to hold onto their childhood.

Before taking the office e of Commissioner last month, I worked as a social worker for the BCIU. I worked with 2 high school boys at Pennsbury , this year, who hail from struggling and dysfunctional families…they confided that basketball at the Y was their only outlet from emotional stress. The Y WAS their coping technique. Your work keeps them going.

I also worked with a girl, an overachiever, who described feeling safe at The “Y Zone” and discovered she had a love for running through the indoor track. This is exactly how we keep children being children.

3 weeks ago I attended a meeting in Bristol Township…the focus was whether or not children need a skate park.. One man stood up to ask that a variety of recreational activities for kids be built…he  asked the public, and the council, to help him to create memories for his children. 

His words stuck with me. That is what childhood should be …making memories. And that is something that was and IS happening at this Y.

So, I want to thank everyone in this room and the Y for creating childhood memories. Thank you for having the courage to join with Family Services and St Mary’s and create a Teen Center in the mid 90’s, for being the only place that, for years, was willing to hold Friday night events and a teen dance, for  being the only place willing to sponsor a skate board camp, for creating space for foosball and ping pong. Thank you for being the role models you are where values of caring and respect exist an environment of non-judgementalness. You remain a beacon of light and warmth it what is becoming a increasingly cold and prescribed world for kids.

It is an honor and a privilege for me to be here and speak to you…people who “get it’. People , like you, understand children and will help hold onto those years, and, I hope, help me spread the word of a need to reduce the stress on kids. I want to thank people like Jim Remer…he is here today…a man who recognizes the importance of childhood and memories and gives a camp scholarship in memory of My Becky. And I want to thank Mr Vaneuker who was a role model to me and gave to me as a teacher when I was a child…and continues to support kids through his gifts here. And a thank you to John McGrath who has given so much to the kids of Middletown and now I know…everywhere.

In closing, I want to thank each of you ..one more time…for truly “getting it”. For recognizing that what makes kids healthy and strong is not JUST academics, and computers, and a forced hobby…it is the mix of fun and role models and games and sports and play.

You have no idea…the power of what you do…the lives you effect - the memories you are making…the lives you may virtually save!

You know, we spend an inordinate amount if time and money in this country and especially in our school trying to figure out “who is at risk”. I suggest we try something new - STOP making anyone be at risk.